Moreso than being a batter in Major League Baseball, writing is a business of astonishing failure before success is found.  Consider the following examples...

Robert M. Pirsig was turned down a mind-numbing 121 times before Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance was finally published.  Beatrix Potter was forced to self-publish The Tale of Peter ( Read more... )

So as I was saying earlier, Permuted Press shot me in the head today.  It hurt, a lot, because I had actually gotten to the point where I was looking at the situation and in the back of my mind the band was starting to play a tune.  Not "Nearer My God To Thee," either; this was a stirring martial number, one that signified that maybe I was getting ( Read more... )

There is apparently going to be an animated series based on Napoleon Dynamite (thanks, Fox) and I am still without a publishing contract.

Fuck you, world.

Sometimes it's extremely depressing on the old submission process front to go through a list of agencies and see that you've already submitted to--and been rejected by--most of the names on the list.  After all, once you've gone through the whole list, exactly what the fuck are you supposed to do next?

"Let's see, the Lori Perkins Agency... nope, ( Read more... )

Should you wish to find me on Facebook, here I am:

http://www.facebook.com/jesselcairns

Add if you like.
Now to something awful, and I only wish I was describing the web site by the same name.  Earlier today I was having a converation via text with mermaidinparis  and she gave me a pep talk by telling me that I was sure to get published soon because, after all, if ( Read more... )

As stated last year and now stated again: I hate tax season.

Not for the reasons that most of you hate it, though.  See, I'm married to an accountant so that means while everybody else is freaking out, running a shaking hand through their hair and scrabbling madly through envelopes and boxes trying to locate their W-2, my lady has it handled.  Our ( Read more... )

Before I jump in with teeth bared, I must pause to say hello to a new friend and introduce all of you to shemchadash, who comes highly recommended from some people on my f-list.  As a person who also loves science-fiction I heartily approve of the idea of approaching the stars from an intelligent and literary point of view... which makes a wonderful ( Read more... )

Q:  What's the difference between V.C. Andrews and Jesse L. Cairns?

A:  One is a bestselling author.  The other is alive and possesses actual talent.

In case you didn't know, V.C. Andrews (Virginia Cleo) has been dead since 1986.  At the time of her death, she had published seven books and published and sold over 30 million copies, the most (in) ( Read more... )

With a title like that, you know this can only mean one thing.  Yes, SoHo Press has also decided they would not touch me with a ten-foot stick but more importantly, they rejected my book as well.  Ha-ha!  Just some literary humor for you there while I take a break from pounding my head against the wall.

That makes it swing and a miss number... six ( Read more... )

Finally (he moaned) the tiredness has set in and I'm toddling off to bed at just a shade past 3:47 A.M.  Jesus.  But before I go, I thought I would leave you with this very lengthy essay contained below, the memory of which still makes me gnash my teeth to this day.  Enjoy.

Why You Should Read This:It's a cautionary tale about young writers and ( Read more... )